I'm back!

Well, its a start right!!!!?
OMgsh. I'm STILL sitting here at nearly 1:30 am obsessing over when and where to start with my blog! I wanted to erase all the stuff on here that sounds SO yesterday(i know it IS;) and really make is updatish and such. I'm torn. I think I really want multiple blogs. Right. When would I find time for that? I'm so proud of you blogster stick -with- it- ers! Carter is fussing right now a little in his crib (go to SLEEP sweet baby boy!) and Craig walked in the bathroom to see his crazy wife sitting in the bathtub with a laptop on the side obsessing over her blog. He takes one look at me and says "come to bed now" I said "no" HOW am I going to wake up early and hit my new YMCA routine (they're trying to KILL me there with my "new workout plan"), btw. I think I ate more yesterday than any other day in my life.
well, i have to go to bed. I made a promise that Syd and i were on the road from Caterpillarhood to beautiful butterflies. I started putting on my lipgloss on my way into the Y and she started singing "My lipgloss is poppin, my lipgloss is poppin"..you know that song right? I had to crack up. So, if I can't wake myself up EARLY (like i have a choice..Carter will be babbling with his cute 4 toothed grin at 730 am) , I will be the epic "mom fail" of the year if i don't keep our gym committment:)
SO much to do in the life of a mother!

Updating...

I know this still needs updated. It's a process peeps, and will take some time. I will get there. Right now, I need to go get some shut eye. My VT's are coming in the morning. I need some more spiritual enlightenment. Yes, I mean that. There can never be enough.

Ok..who's ready for this?

I know the ones of you logging on see that my post was updated. YEA!!!!!! Finally, this loser friend of yours might get it together and begin, once again, to blog. I need it. I sure do usually have a lot to say. I stare at your blogs with envy. I have so much on my mind and we'll get to that real soon. THIS is my new start. For those of you who have waited with baited breath (real funny Janjan=), this is it.

I'm back in the saddle again

Wow!! I seriousluy have a LOT of work to do on here!

SUPER SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!

K..2DAY is a better day. I'm happier, maybe healthier..I just don't know. But I am gratfeul for my friends, for having a pretty good life, yes, even though I like to complain. Just let me do it..you know it's just my style. I cleaned up the house a little, actually cooked something...and for the grande finale..got all the trash out of the house! Ok, so baby steps out of this hellish depression I've put myself in. Well, that's about it. It's ever late and I'm never going to get all churched up in the am. What example am I setting? ok..gotta go, so I can make it there. I need all the saving I can get:)

Ok, fan club..don't get so testy. I read all your comments on "where'd I go"??? Well, facebook, trip to Utah, work, and men are taking up my time. That's it. Oh, and trying to get a divorce... that takes time too. So, about my Utah trip. It was very nice and "tender"... Temple square was beautiful with all the lights. It made me think while I was out there. I seem to continually screw my life up. Well, I'm well intended..I just jump to things fast, like I'm running out of time. Ker- you know my entire history. Why do I leap into the fire again so fast?? Not so sure. Maybe it's remnants of what I didn't have as a child... So can I blame it on that?? Ok, not really. I have moved on. I don't have all the answers. Well, I don't bite my nails anymore. I've lost weight. I just might get to that teen weight soon. Positives in my life. Logan is still the most high maintenance kid alive. Apparently, the Lord knows I like a challenge. Jan, I still remember the tumor comment..it makes me laugh!! Lucy and Logan...they are challenges, aren't they? They need to meet when they are older.
So, this is just rambling. What am I really saying? Well, I've started to date...and it's not an easy process. Kids, jobs, divorce that is happening slowly. I just feel SO ready for happiness. I'm happier in many ways, and in others more stressed. I know i'm supposed to take time to "know myself." What is the consensus? I just don't know how I made it that long in a miserable marriage and I'm angry with myself.
Ok, you asked for it..so there are my thoughts of tonight.
maybe soon, my thoughts will make more sense..but you asked for it.