Dori'z Random Musings

I'm back!

2011-06-20T20:43:00.001-07:00

Well, its a start right!!!!?
OMgsh. I'm STILL sitting here at nearly 1:30 am obsessing over when and where to start with my blog! I wanted to erase all the stuff on here that sounds SO yesterday(i know it IS;) and really make is updatish and such. I'm torn. I think I really want multiple blogs. Right. When would I find time for that? I'm so proud of you blogster stick -with- it- ers! Carter is fussing right now a little in his crib (go to SLEEP sweet baby boy!) and Craig walked in the bathroom to see his crazy wife sitting in the bathtub with a laptop on the side obsessing over her blog. He takes one look at me and says "come to bed now" I said "no" HOW am I going to wake up early and hit my new YMCA routine (they're trying to KILL me there with my "new workout plan"), btw. I think I ate more yesterday than any other day in my life.
well, i have to go to bed. I made a promise that Syd and i were on the road from Caterpillarhood to beautiful butterflies. I started putting on my lipgloss on my way into the Y and she started singing "My lipgloss is poppin, my lipgloss is poppin"..you know that song right? I had to crack up. So, if I can't wake myself up EARLY (like i have a choice..Carter will be babbling with his cute 4 toothed grin at 730 am) , I will be the epic "mom fail" of the year if i don't keep our gym committment:)
SO much to do in the life of a mother!

Updating...

2009-07-26T23:46:00.001-07:00

I know this still needs updated. It's a process peeps, and will take some time. I will get there. Right now, I need to go get some shut eye. My VT's are coming in the morning. I need some more spiritual enlightenment. Yes, I mean that. There can never be enough.

Ok..who's ready for this?

2009-07-26T23:35:00.000-07:00

I know the ones of you logging on see that my post was updated. YEA!!!!!! Finally, this loser friend of yours might get it together and begin, once again, to blog. I need it. I sure do usually have a lot to say. I stare at your blogs with envy. I have so much on my mind and we'll get to that real soon. THIS is my new start. For those of you who have waited with baited breath (real funny Janjan=), this is it.

I'm back in the saddle again

2009-07-08T23:01:00.001-07:00

Wow!! I seriousluy have a LOT of work to do on here!

SUPER SUNDAY!!!!!!!!!!

2009-01-17T23:07:00.000-08:00

K..2DAY is a better day. I'm happier, maybe healthier..I just don't know. But I am gratfeul for my friends, for having a pretty good life, yes, even though I like to complain. Just let me do it..you know it's just my style. I cleaned up the house a little, actually cooked something...and for the grande finale..got all the trash out of the house! Ok, so baby steps out of this hellish depression I've put myself in. Well, that's about it. It's ever late and I'm never going to get all churched up in the am. What example am I setting? ok..gotta go, so I can make it there. I need all the saving I can get:)

2009-01-05T21:33:00.000-08:00

Ok, fan club..don't get so testy. I read all your comments on "where'd I go"??? Well, facebook, trip to Utah, work, and men are taking up my time. That's it. Oh, and trying to get a divorce... that takes time too. So, about my Utah trip. It was very nice and "tender"... Temple square was beautiful with all the lights. It made me think while I was out there. I seem to continually screw my life up. Well, I'm well intended..I just jump to things fast, like I'm running out of time. Ker- you know my entire history. Why do I leap into the fire again so fast?? Not so sure. Maybe it's remnants of what I didn't have as a child... So can I blame it on that?? Ok, not really. I have moved on. I don't have all the answers. Well, I don't bite my nails anymore. I've lost weight. I just might get to that teen weight soon. Positives in my life. Logan is still the most high maintenance kid alive. Apparently, the Lord knows I like a challenge. Jan, I still remember the tumor comment..it makes me laugh!! Lucy and Logan...they are challenges, aren't they? They need to meet when they are older.
So, this is just rambling. What am I really saying? Well, I've started to date...and it's not an easy process. Kids, jobs, divorce that is happening slowly. I just feel SO ready for happiness. I'm happier in many ways, and in others more stressed. I know i'm supposed to take time to "know myself." What is the consensus? I just don't know how I made it that long in a miserable marriage and I'm angry with myself.
Ok, you asked for it..so there are my thoughts of tonight.
maybe soon, my thoughts will make more sense..but you asked for it.

2008-11-27T23:08:00.000-08:00

Little moments....

2008-11-24T20:18:00.000-08:00

So I have to write this fast because it's late and I have to get up for work, but I'm feeling like journaling some sweet moments. So, you all know that Logan is my, let's say most challenging child, well I have to share some precious moments with you. He is just the cutest thing, and he can be wonderful and terrible. So, let's share some sweet wonderful moments..
Today we drive through the McDonalds drive through (which by the way, I had a grilled wrap and NO fries- willpower sucks)..so anyway, I asked him what he wanted. His answer: "UUUUUMMM..mom I want a cookie..no, no, wait 3 cookies (held up his 3 fingers), and a jellybean, and a cinnamon roll" How cute is he?
He was, in fact a very good boy today.
Last week, we were driving to church, and he kept looking at the trees..he said very matter of factly "mom, where did all the green trees go?" I tried my best to explain fall. He said "no, that's not it"
Ok, I have to head to bed now.
Love you, my readers!

Is it all going to hell?

2008-11-05T05:54:00.000-08:00

Well, what a sad day...Nobama made it in. I guess we might as all (feel that NC 'twang?) just dig the grave. There is still prayer Jan..... Still prayer. So now what? I just don't know. I talked to one of my patients last night about this, well, terrible thing, and he wanted to vote for McCain..but he lay there very sick. Why can't the polls be taken around to the people in the hospital? Anyone ever thought of that? How sad he was that he didn't get to vote. I told Him "We needed your vote", He looked at me with his kind eyes and said "Dori, don't I know it"
Dig, dig.........................dig, dig:)

dig.....................dig

Did you know that Hitler and Satan surely had/have lots of charisma too? Hmmm.something our President has in common with these two?

Heading to the polls!!

2008-11-04T07:33:00.000-08:00

Is is going to be a good day or a bad one?
Depends on which way the polls go! Go REPUBLICANS!
Gotta love those republicans... lets make it happen.
NOBAMA
:O
By the way..no comments allowed unless you agree with me..hehe

Thinking of Utah..and church

2008-11-04T00:35:00.000-08:00

Can't sleep..this dysfunctional sleep schedule of mine. So while I was reading the ensign at the gym..came across a good reminder.
In an article "Let him do it with simplicity"

"One of the challenges of this mortal experience is not to allow the stresses and strains of life to get the better of us- to endure the varied seasons of life while remaining positive, even optimistic. Perhaps when challenges strike, we should have these hopeful words etched in our minds "The best is yet to be"
We can't predict all the struggles and storms in life, not even the ones around the next corner, but as persons of faith and hope, we know beyond the shadow of any doubt that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true and the best is yet to come."

Did I mention I would love to go to Utah, and see the Salt Lake temple? I sure would.

A new Month!!!

2008-11-02T09:45:00.000-08:00

Sitting here with my big boy...Logan is a big 3 and ever so independent. Favorite words.."I do it!" Challenging as ever. So, my last post a bit depressing. Let's change that.. I am doing well. I have good days, and bad ones. Today is in the middle. Not sad I'm separated..just sad things aren't the way I'd like for them to be. I know many of you have expressed your concern. How grateful I am to have you as my friends. I've been very blessed in life. Not sure why I'm so blessed to have the friendships I do ..but you are all the greatest. You must like me for some crazy reason:)
My heart is full. Jan- thanks for remembering my favorite time of year..that brought tears to my eyes. I do miss Bristol Mountain- all of you still New Yorkers!! I think I'd have an anxiety issue if I went on that ski lift again! It was so high it was insane! But the beauty way up there- breathtaking. I am keeping busy here. Working.. nursing, selling jewelry, and lots of thinking. Had a good night on Halloween. Britt dressed in a sexy nurse costume. Just love seeing her 16 and looking 21 :( Syd spent the night walking around with her steady Shae (who is 16). Where did I lose my 2 little girls? I feel so old. I'm remembering though that I'm still young. Ready for new opportunities in life. Don't know what they will be..but I have the gospel, good friends and a great family. Anything is possible.
There, that's a little more positive.

Separation..

2008-10-07T22:50:00.000-07:00

So my blog today is that Jeff and I have separated. To those of you who do not know..here is the latest. I guess that's why I haven't blogged in a while. It's been a rocky month. Anyway, I will write more soon. I am at work and have to get some things done.

The Real Me...by Jessie Clark Funk

2008-08-27T04:39:00.000-07:00

My thoughts for the day.................... and what I think of my life
A song..."The Real me" by Jessie Clark Funk

Foolish heart, looks like we're here again..
same old game of plastic smile, don't let anybody in
hiding my heartache..will this glass house break? (it's breaking)
how much will they take before I'm empty?
Do I let it show? Does anybody know?

But You see, the real me... hiding in my skin..
broken from within..
unveil me.. completely..
I'm loosening my grasp, there's no need to mask... my frailty
'cause You see~ the real me.

Painted on, life is behind a mask..self inflicted circus clown
I'm tired of this song and dance.. (so true)
living a charade, always on parade.. (yes)
what a mess I've made of my existence... But You love me even now
and still I see somehow, that You see, the real me
hiding in my skin... broken from within..
Unveil me...completely...
I'm loosening my grasp, there's no need to mask my frailty
'cause You see the real me

Wonderful, beautiful... is what You see, when You look at me..
You're turning the tattered fabric of my life into a perfect tapestry.
I just want to be me
I want to be me.......

And You love me... just as I am
Wonderful, beautiful.....is what You see, when You look at me.

the 411...

2008-08-25T20:08:00.001-07:00

Wow, it's been over 2 weeks since I last blogged. My life has been taken over by lia sophia, among many other responsiblities:) I need to go to bed soon, I have rice cooking at 11 pm. I haven't really eaten all day, and I'm hungry. I feel like the dalmation on 101 dalmations that keeps staring at the TV saying.."I'm hungry, mama, I'm hungry". Yep...so... what a random thought.
It was the kids first day back to school and we have been busy.
So, to talk about me again...hehe...especially to those of you blog addicted fans..here's the 411 on my life lately..
lia sophia...I had my first show on Sat and it went very well. Despite my extreme nervousness, everyone said I looked cool, calm and collected. I had 2 great cheerleaders there to root for me...thank you my lia sophia sisters!!! I really feel like I'm in a new "club" that's really cool. After the show we sat in Wendy's parking lot, eating our fries until 2 am talking about our dreams of succeeding. It was so very cool, and soothing to my spirit. Girl power is really something. If you ever read this Tammy or Brianna- thank you for being there... I know I keep saying this, but I am so inpired by what many of these women have made of themselves. I want to be part of it...everyday. I haven't felt such commraderie in a very long time.
My "fear" of failure reinforced that I need to keep reading self help books til the day I die. Latest one by the way.."Winning with people" by John Maxwell. I wish that I had more time to read. These books are great.
Well, the rice is still cooking...that darn rice a roni is taking too long. I keep shoving "fillers"into my mouth, while waiting.
Well, that's about all the energy I have to put into the blog tonight. I must eat my half cooked rice a roni and get to bed.
love to all peeps reading my boring blog:)

Long day even longer....at the hospital

2008-08-09T09:40:00.000-07:00

Thought I'd take this brief moment of downtime to complain about what an eternal day this is. And it is. It's only 12:45, I have almost 7 more hours to go..... ughhhhhhhh
If only I played the lottery maybe I'd win and wouldn't have to work.

Today's events..

2008-08-04T18:08:00.000-07:00

Unexciting. Spent 2 hours at the social security office applying to get a name change on Brittany's card so she can get her driving permit. I will have 2 drivers in the next year. That's quite scary. When did I get so old?
So, while sitting there I thought about how many microbes were piled into that hot, sweaty room filled with the best picks of people. I kept reminding myself that God loves everyone, including the girl that the security officer had to take out(not so quietly) I was hoping gunfire wouldn't break out. Luckily, we were saved. There is a sign posted on the wall about killing people in a federal office. Yep, scary places...
Went to the gym, found my new machine, the rower. It's fab.
Took my bathing suits back that didn't fit. Maybe next year after a little more use of the fab "rower" at the gym.
Went to Barnes and Nobles and got Logan a cool new book.
Tomorrow is Logan's B-day. I have Relief Society tomorrow night. We are learning how to SAVE money. I def. need to be there.

More pics of Tennessee

2008-08-03T21:20:00.000-07:00

Amy, Aaron, Cameron, Erica, Andrew, Parker and Jenna

Cool quotes- stolen version

2008-08-03T21:05:00.000-07:00

So, I'm stealing these quotes from a friend, but since she so felt inclined to direct them at me (right back at ya, sister!), I thought I'd share..

~Well, we're all a little weird and when we find those people whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them, and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness and call them our best friend.... ;-)

~Friends in your life are like pillars on your porch; sometimes they hold you up; sometimes they lean on you; and sometimes it's just enough to know they are standing by... ;-)

~The buddy system is essential to your survival; it gives the enemy somebody else to shoot at.

~Friends keep you from being a psychopath.

~Best Friends share the same retardation.

~Never explain yourself - your friends don't need it and your enemies won't believe it

~I'm on a mission to save the world (I can't believe they trusted me with this). (huh - and no one told me either until now!)

~The sad thing about a lie is knowing you're not good enough for the truth

~Don't tell me that the sky is the limit, when there are footprints on the moon.

The perception of a 3 year old

2008-08-03T20:47:00.000-07:00

Logan will be 3 on Tuesday. We were pulling out of the driveway this eve when Logan exclaimed very excitedly, "Look mom, a diamond in the sky, a biiiiiiiiiigggg diamond" - in his precious little voice
.....he was pointing to the streetlight.

Pics from the Tennessee Jones reunion

2008-07-30T18:57:00.000-07:00

Cousins; Above Trystan playing.... below Logan playing...
Logan with play doh- always his favorite thing to play with..and make a mess out of. He and Trystan had fun playing with this on Brion's porch.
Hmmm, Logan is thinking... I wonder what mess I can make next!
Above, Clay and Nicole with little Creedon. Too cute.
Above, Uncle Aaron and Creedon.
The Zingaro girls...getting so grown up.

To Tennessee

2008-07-17T23:36:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't written in a while..going over the mountains and through the woods to Grandma's house in Tennessee today. We'll talk more about me when I get back. I promise.

Snake in washer

2008-07-17T23:30:00.000-07:00

Oh my gosh! You have to go to CNN and see this lady that found a python sitting in her washed load of laundry. It will freak you out. I have a MAJOR snake phobia now that we are here in this great state of NC. I would have peed my pants. You have to go to CNN and watch the video. It's like insane, really.
I'm going to Tennessee today! YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goal Challenge

2008-07-07T18:17:00.000-07:00

So..long day at work. I'm tired. Anyone reading this blog might hear that a lot. Sorry, but it's my party and I'll cry if I want to:)
I went to church yesterday and we had a great lesson on goals and self esteem. Thought I'd share. We all need a little "self help", now and then. We were challenged to write 6 different areas and attach a goal to it. I am still thinking about mine. I will share more when I can get them down concretely (haven't had the time to do so yet) The areas include:
Spiritual
Intellectual
Physical
Service
Character
Financial
Another thought..write down one thing that you should NOT do, and stop doing it!
Let me know some of your ideas, and/or, think about these things for yourself. Oprah says to draw a posterboard and put it on the wall(at least someone told me Oprah said that).
You must see things in writing though. Often we do work that way.
A great book that was shared was "3 cups of tea"
Can't personally attest to it, but I am going to get it and see how it goes. I have heard from others it's about having tenacity and doing great things. We always need inspiring lierature don't we?

Oh, anyone who is not sure how this blog works, you can leave a comment and we can chat that way. Thank you to those of you who have. I enjoy our friendships GREATLY. I don't always get the chance to get to everyone as much as I would like. Phone calls are tough with a 2, almost 3 year old who interrups me as often as he can. I also get caught up in my daily life. So, not only is this very retrospective (and introspective)for me, I can keep in touch with many of you on a more regular basis.
I am grateful for your friendships. I couldn't ask for better.

Little Logan..big personality

2008-07-06T15:12:00.000-07:00

July 4th holiday.

2008-07-05T04:21:00.000-07:00

So, here is the trial blog! I just started this and don't know how much time I can dedicate, but I'm going to try! I love the idea of journaling and this is the computer version of that. I will be adding photos and such to stay current. Anyone interested, please add your comments.

Well, today is the 4th of July weekend, which apparently I now have off. I was supposed to work a 12 hour day shift today but I was cancelled.
So..this is what I am doing instead.
We are going to try to go to Womble Park tonight to catch the fireworks party. Last night we briefly got together with our neighbors for some cul de sac entertainment in the sky. Logan loved it, yet looked petrified at the same time. I thought he was going to cry, then he said "more, more" when they were all done.
I wish I were at the beach....